The Greatest Players To Never Play In The Super Bowl...Minus The Stupid Comedy Crap

Rick Reilly, who I love and hate at the same time, wrote a satire/comedy/piece of crap for the four-letter network that was about what would happen if the greatest players who never played in a Super Bowl suddenly played a Super Bowl.  Unfortunately, most of the piece was just flat disrespectful.

(Note to Rick -- You're an ass for some of the things you said about those guys.  It was just horrible in every way.)

Now, to the greatest players to never play in the Super Bowl.  I'd like to just cover a couple, if that's ok.

Barry Sanders.  He, through no fault of his own, ended up on the Lions and only made it as far as the NFC Title Game (once.)  It would have been great to see him in the Super Bowl, but it was not in the cards for him.  He retired a little too soon (for our taste) when he might have been able to go to a contender.  So, we can't REALLY complain about this one.  It's the Lions.  It is what it is.

Eric Dickerson.  Eric Dickerson is the best running back I ever saw with my own two eyes (I'm 35, so don't give me the Gale Sayers and Jim Brown stuff, that's before my time.)  I just loved Eric Dickerson and the way he ran.  I just wish that the Rams of the day could have been good enough to get him there.  It's a shame, really :(

Dan Fouts.  Dan Fouts = Best quarterback to never play in one.  I'll call it.  Dan Fouts plus the Air Coryell offense equalled amazing.  Period.  HE was even better on TV as a commentator, but it would have been great to see him and Kellen Winslow at least play the game with Don Coryell.  That's a lost opportunity right there.

Gale Sayers and Jim Brown are before my time, but not before my Dad's time.  My Dad insisted two things often:  Terrell David belongs in the hall of fame for putting Denver over the top in the 90s, and Jim Brown is the best he ever saw do it.  Then there's Gale Sayers whom my Dad always said was tougher than his image.  It would have been great to see those two, running for about 200 yards a piece in a Super Bowl against each other.  Yikes!

There are many others, but I don't write 20,000 word columns.  Let's just say that we missed some opportunities, BUT, if we get a Super Bowl like we should on Sunday, it'll be one for the ages.

Falcons Extensions...No, That's It, They're THAT Stupid

This is not a roundup.  Repeat, this is NOT a roundup.  Do not adjust your computer.  I have to talk about this because, frankly, this is asinine and pathetic on every level.

I live in Atlanta, but I am NOT a fan of Atlanta sports teams.  I never was a fan of the Falcons.  My Dad grew up a Cowboys fan in the 50s, but when the Falcons came to Atlanta in 1966, he adopted them because they were the hometown team.  I was never a Hawks fan, but neither was my Dad...he grew up a Celtics fan, was the same age as Bill Russell, and didn't mind that I was a Lakers fan.  I also broke up with the Braves because I got tired of being disappointed.

However, since my Dad was a Falcons fan, I want them to do well on some level.  I know he'd be tickled to death (even though he couldn't watch them on TV because they are so maddening he just couldn't take it.)  So, when I heard this news I nearly drove off the road.

Thomas Dimitroff and Mike Smith were given contract extensions today.  Why?  I have no idea.

Let me let you in on what nobody wants to talk about in this town.  Everyone thought hiring someone from the Patriots was an automatic winner.  It isn't.  They say Dimitroff drafted Matt Ryan.  To be clear, Matt Ryan isn't THAT good, and you or I could have drafted the dude.

Mike Smith doesn't have the killer instinct.  He sounds apathetic and disinterested.  It's boring to say the least.  He literally sounds like he could care less.  Dude, get some passion.

What's more, Smith isn't a good enough coach for Dimitroff.  The Patriot Way, is actually the BELICHICK WAY.  What is the common thread in New England?  BILL BELICHICK.  Do you see Bill Belichick coaching the Falcons?

Have the Patriots ever drafted well?  NO!  They are ROUNDLY crapped on for their drafting and then Bill Belichick, rightly so, is ROUNDLY lauded for his incredible coaching up of inferior talent.  He takes people and makes them into more than they should be.  He's waltzing into the hall of fame on the first ballot.  If he isn't, I'm going to stop watching football, I'm not even kidding.  I don't even LIKE the Patriots, I crap on them all the time for Spygate thing, but that doesn't make him a bad coach.  The man is a genius.

So, does Mike Smith live in even the same UNIVERSE as Belichick?  NO.  Period.

So, you have a crappy GM who drafts as if Belichick is coaching the team, but his coach is actually just apathetic.

That's your formula for winning?  Wow.

I called a sports tation in Atlanta before the season and predicted 8-8 or 7-9 as their record.  They hung up on me and laughed me off the air.  Who looks stupid now?  The Falcons are damaged BEYOND REPAIR and the two people who did the most damage got contract extensions?  I'm sorry, if you did your job this badly, would you still have it?

No, you wouldn't.

Oh, but they had all those winning seasons.  Yeah, winning games by one or two points, on lucky plays, then underachieving in the playoffs.  That's not good enough.  To quote Henry Spencer on Psych "Do it.  Better!"

The Falcons have doomed themselves to at LEAST another three to four years or disappointment.  By that time, Matt Ryan will be over 30 and still not elite.  Then what do you do?  Oh yeah, start over.  Then what?  Oh yeah, the window closed.

The Falcons have never won a Super Bowl, and with this line of thinking, they never will.  Print that.  Quote it.

Goodell Nails Sherman (Figuratively), Eli Helps Peyton, and The Brown Hole Has A Coach

Roger Goodell may actually have some equipment.  No!  Not THAT equipment, he clearly has that or he wouldn't be proposing eliminating PATs without understanding the history of football or pretending to care about player safety.  It takes balls of steel to fake your way through all that.

No, this is different.

Roger Goodell actually doesn't like Richard Sherman's comments!  Yay!  The man has at least an ounce of common sense!  He said "we're not rooting for that."  I love it!  Take note boys and girls, Roger got one right.  (Unfortunately, he's gotten everything else wrong, so, this is kind of a hollow victory.)

Eli Manning has said he's going to give Peyton some pointers on playing at MetLife Stadium.  I have zero problem with that.  However, I don't think he's ever played there when it's freaking ONE degree outside.  I woke up this morning to Greeny tweeting that it was ONE degree in his car this morning.  This Super Bowl could be terrible.

The Brown Hole...I mean, Browns, have a coach.  This poor guy.  Mike Pettine.  How do we even say his name?  I mean, all I'm saying is, the one time I took a job and I wasn't their first choice, it ended in disaster.  The Browns, are a disaster on the whole.

Daily Roundup: I'm Not A Thug, Cheerleader Lawsuit, and Boring Basketball

I was laughing when I read this one.  Richard Sherman showed he must be a thug while he was denying that he's one.  This is a classic example of a dude trying to play the race card but not being smart enough to realize that he's shooting himself in the foot.  He's quoted in an article on the four-letter network as saying

"I know some real thugs, and they know I'm the farthest thing from a thug.  I fought that my whole life because of where I've come from [the Compton neighborhood in Los Angeles]. You have a guy from Compton or Watts, they just think he's a thug. He's a gangster. You fight it for so long, and to have it come back up and hear people use it again is frustrating."

Wait, so, you know some real thugs?  How did you go about getting to know them, I ask you?  Because, if it were me, and I were "trying to get away from" the "tag" of "thug" I wouldn't choose to know any thugs.  I'm just saying.  Oh, and, for the record, Dick:  I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE YOU'RE FROM.  Actions talk pretty loudly, my friend.

Dick Sherman, you're fake and you know it.  Nice try on the race card play, nice try.  We have thugs of all colors, and some people who don't know how to choose their friends.  You're on of them, and you just admitted it to everybody.

In other news, some former Raiders cheerleaders are suing the team for wage theft.  I really hope this happened under Al Davis, because I'm REALLY hoping that his son is doing a better job.  I really do.

Oh, and I tried to care about the NBA last night before I remembered the season is too long and nothing matters until the playoffs anyways.

Wednesday Round-Up January 22, 2014: I Don't Buy It, Browns Black Hole, and A-Rod Out (Maybe)

I'm the fakest dude on the planet.  Nah, man, you're just a video game.

Well, to start the round-up, I have to start by talking about LeBron.  First, he mused (on Instagram) about having D-Wade in Miami (even though Wade was there first and has NEVER been a jerk about trying to leave.)  Now, he says it's "tough" without D-Wade.  I don't buy it for one second.  LeBron is a snake, and he's making himself look human while also pushing Wade out the door so Miami can be "LeBron Central".  I'm sorry, but you have character issues if you have to announce you're leaving your hometown team on TV (and not tell the owner beforehand.)  His character is flawed, I would just like someone to admit that.

The Browns coaching job is a black hole.  Honestly, who would want to coach there?  They fire a guy after one season, have almost no talent on the roster (save Josh Gordon) and now they still can't find a coach.  I honestly hope they aren't shocked.  Is Cleveland losersville?  Yep, and somehow they beat out Atlanta for that title...now THAT'S saying something.

Apparently, the players want A-Rod out of the union.  Haha!  I love sanctimonious baseball players.  "A-Rod, most of us took PEDs when it wasn't illegal, but you got two huge contracts and made us all a ton of money...now get out."  Please wake me up when baseball players start looking in the mirror.

Daily Round-Up January 21, 2014: Tennis Used To Be Great, No PATs, Finesse Basketball Hurts Kobe's Eyes

I remember when Tennis used to be great.  Ivan Lendl was always in contention, Jimmy Connors and John McEnroe were constantly at each other's throats, and everyone was still wishing Bjorn Borg hadn't retired.  Now, the best we can get is Wawrinka beating Djoker to make it to the semifinals of the Australian Open.  We're a few years removed from the greatest final in the history of Tennis with Nadal defeating Federer in the Wimbledon final.  We even had Andy Murray coming back and winning the Gold Medal at the Olympics (AT Wimbledon) and then actually winning Wimbledon the next year.  The problem is , that's all we've got.  I wish I knew who most of these people were, but I don't.  Let's hope that the ATP and WTA do a better job of marketing players in the future.  I want to like Tennis again...I do.

Roger Goodell is "mulling" getting rid of PATs?  Ok, sure, please, by all means, make the game even more boring.  In Rugby, it's called a conversion.  You HAVE TO MAKE THEM to score more points. In football, choosing between going for two or taking the PAT is a SERIOUS decision.  Unfortunately, Roger Goodell knows how football works but ignores what he knows.  He needs to remember, he's already going to be known as the worst commissioner in history.  He probably doesn't need to change the game so much that his successor will have to change it back.

I'm a Lakers fan, but I'm a little tired of Kobe talking.  He may not enjoy "finesse" basketball, but I don't really care.  The game is what it is.  The more Kobe talks, the more unlikable he becomes.  For all that is holy, Kobe, stop talking.  Rehab, come back, and play.  That's the only thing you can do that we'll take note of.

Welcome To Sports By The General (Conference Title Games, Olympics and Jackasses)

I'm Patton, but I prefer "The General" (just because it sounds cool.)

This is a sports opinion magazine that doesn't mind saying things other people don't want to say.  In fact, sometimes I feel that people need to be challenged in their opinions because, well, they're being just a little bit crazy.  We're going to do a daily round-up every morning that will be pushed onto Tumblr and Twitter as well.  Make sure you tune in every morning for the round-up, but we'll start with a nightly rounding up of things that are buzzing in the sports world.

First, THE OLYMPICS!

You know why I watch the Olympics?  Because they're cool!  There's always good stories, someone who comes out of nowhere to win a gold medal, and we don't even have to pay attention for another two years.  If you don't like the Olympics, you're just upset that you're not as talented or hard-working as the people you see competing in them.  It's that simple.  Please get over your jealousy and appreciate greatness.

Second, Conference Titles Games...

I'm a 49er fan (since 1983) but I'm not angry.  The 49ers didn't convert enough opportunities and they let Richard Sherman make the play of his life at the end of the game.  That's their fault.  Oh well, I'm fine with it.  If you get too wrapped up in your team...it's going to break something (like your TV, your marriage or your friendships.)

BTW--The Patriots STILL have not won a championship post-Spygate.  You can pretend like that doesn't mean something, but you're just fooling yourself.

Third and Finally, Jackasses...Yep, Jackasses.

Richard Sherman is a jackass.  He's proven that over time, but, who cares?  It's pretty obvious to all of us, isn't it?  Personally, I think Erin Andrews has no right to act appalled at all when she's interviewing a dude like Sherman.  She had to know (if she's been paying attention at all) that this dude is crazy and volatile.

And please spare me the whole "he went to Stanford, so he's smart" routine.  I KNOW HE'S SMART.  Do you know how many smart jackasses I know?  How many do you know?  They're everywhere!  It's a fact of life.  I saw the interview, rolled my eyes and changed the channel.  He's just a guy.  And, frankly, he's probably gonna get smoked by Peyton Manning in two weeks anyways.

Is Sherman a great player?  Yeah.  Am I going to act shocked when crazy people act crazy?  No.

Take a lesson, please :)